Goodbye 2007

January 5th, 2008 by ifiwereapainter

It was the best of years, but it was also the worst of years.

I had great times, times when I thought "WOW can this get any better??" - and it always does! Phase 1, Phase 2, Prague, Wales, the Yorkshire Dales, Borneo, Ba Kelalan and my ‘adopted family’ there, Sang Sigar, Julia, Uncle Jugah, nocturnal adventures involving boats and bees, 118, Free Trip to Barcelona, Proms, Madrid, South Africa, MOZAMBIQUE… weddings, parties, dancing, singing, family, friendship

And times when I shed bitter tears… when aunty Fatimah died, when my patient was diagnosed with cancer, when I was so broke and my family was upset, when a friend went into prison, when uncle Thomas died…

What a year! I LOVED every moment of it. Even the bad ones (in retrospect), coz in the long run, God always always works all things out for the good of those who love Him. Someone up there’s definitely watching over me. Thank you Jesus.

The BEST is always yet to come… 2008… so far so good :)

HAPPY 2008 EVERYBODY! I pray you may BE more and more of the great person God meant you to be, and to SHINE! God bless.

Report on Mozambique

January 5th, 2008 by ifiwereapainter

Mission accomplished! Praise the Lord!

Came back 2 Fridays ago.. with a nice tan :)

Wrote a loooooonnnngggggg letter to my dad about Mozambique. I think it’s as detailed as it gets. Warning: It’s VERY long. I won’t feel hurt if you skim through it, or just not read it. Bottomline: IT WAS AN AWESOME TRIP :D :D :D

I dont even know where to start about mozambique! The trip’s just been filled with testimonies..
We brought 5 suitcases full of donations to mozambique. it was amazing how the churches and hospital colleagues donated so much to us to bring. And we didnt even do any special campaigns or appeals for stuff. We just gave simple announcements, sent an email or 2, and God really surprised us with so much generosity! We couldnt even bring evrything that was donated (clothes, books, toys etc) and had to leave some behind. And we were very overweight… but miraculously, we managed to get through the airport officials without being charged extra.. we prayed really hard tho! God is good! 

We (myself, Ben, Josh, Winnie, Will) flew into south africa on fri the 14th and stayed there with Ben’s friend. It was amazing timing coz Ben has not met his friend in 5 years, and his friend just happened to move into Johannesburg from durban. So he picked us up and we enjoyed a mini holiday in Joburg for 2 days before flying off to Mozambique. 
South Africa is so rich and modern (or what we saw anyway). Big houses, swimming pools, big malls etc. But there’re also black ppl hanging around the roads begging, waiting to do odd jobs. And there are also dangerous shanty towns with rats running everywhere. Very strange country..

We didnt have any specific agenda in Mozambique (though we were a ‘medical’ team). Our vision was mostly to come in response to a vision that Heidi had about medical teams coming in to help them in the future, and to see the kingdom of God at work there. 

Background about where we visited - we went to the Iris base in Pemba. It’s by the sea… very hot.. 40 degrees, lots of sand (something like vellore, dad - but i think africans are much cleaner and tidier people!). there had 200 orphans (including an albino african!), and had sewing schools, gardens patches for the widows. They also had a school on the site. But it was holiday time when we went. The base was started about 4 years ago.

When we first arrived we were so excited about what ‘medical’ stuff we can do to help. We planned (along with the nurses) to do health checks on all the kids at the base. The doctors werent around as they were out on a mission outreach. We started the checks on tues morn. We’ve just started when the doctors came back. Dr Angela Walker was kinda like the woman in charge there. She;s a consultant paediatrician from England and has been out there since July. 

She wanted us to stop what we were doing. At first we were surprised and it felt a bit like confusion in the camp coz the nurses wanted us to do it in the first place. You know, i think there is a big battle there and the devil tries at every opportunity to throw spanners in the works between people. But we prayed for wisdom and guidance in the situation, and for God to show us what He wanted us to do. 

Dr Walker is an amazing woman. She explained from the start that the work there is about Kingdom Medicine… building God’s kingdom, and that it’s spiritual as much as physical medicine. And i came to realise that she wanted us to understand this before doing anything ‘medical’. Coz we were doing what we initially started to do based on our own understanding of medicine, which was from the west. But she kept emphasising that GOD heals, and that in a consultation,  we have to ask people about whether they have visited a witch doctor, or have anger, unforgiveness or anything against anyone, and whether they have Jesus in their heart. Coz a lot of illnesses, she said, especially cancer, psychiatric, inflammatory (eg Rheumatoid arthritis), and chronic pain have spiritual roots.. and we have to adress that as much as the physical symptoms. She said she had to die to herself and all that she had learnt and allow God to teach her medicine again. Coz she said her qualifications were just a tool to get into Mozambique, but in terms of practicing medicine, God was teaching her everyday.

So every consultation has all these questions and then we’ll pray with the person, asking for forgiveness and repentance if there are any areas that need be, and also breaking curses and bondages upon their lives. Which could be from the witch doctor, or generational, or things they or others have said about them. And then if they’ll have to acccept Jesus into their lives (otherwise she wont pray for their healing coz if they dont have Jesus in their lives, more evil spirits will come in etc - you know the story). 

It was pretty cool hearing and seeing all this. We had a spontaneous worship prayer session one evening and God just spoke to me about how He’s planned everything out in my life.. growing up learning about the deliverance ministry, doing medicine… it all seems to fit in. And i realise (Dr Walker said as well) that being a doctor also includes being a pastor, and evangelist coz spiritual health is just as important. I mean what I’m learning now is not totally un-useful.. she still gives out antibiotics, and dresses wounds etc. but ultimately God heals. There was a girl with a bad joint infection who would have been hospitalised in england.. but no such thing in mozambique. She need IV antibiotics, but the Dr Walker could only give her oral antibiotics. But they both prayed and prayed and after a week, the knee was well, and now she has a perfectly normal knee joint with no complications. Praise the Lord!

And there are other testimonies about the blind being healed, lame walking… i was there over christmas, so there wasnt any outreach to go on.. so didnt see as much as we heard. Well.. maybe will go visit again!

At christmas they gave out lots of presents to the kids. Then we helped with crowd control coz they cooked for the community and fed about 2000 people and gave them all presents. It was really WOW. I mean, ‘richer’ churches in England dont cook big meals for the community and give them presents. It just shows how God provides for everything when we step out in faith. 

We went back to SA the day after christmas. This time, we stayed with the parents of a friend of a friend in England. Haha…thank God for connections! The parents told us to hire a car or take a taxi to their place. My friend was just talking to a taxi driver when a couple came up to him and said "we were on the same plane from Joburg to Pemba and on the same plane back, and the Lord told us you were missionaries, and to give you guys a lift to wherever you want to go". Wow! They were a couple on honeymoon in Mozambique. And they happen to live near to where we were going…praise the Lord. It’s just amazing.. coz taxis are expensive and we’d probably have gotten lost if we drove coz its highways like KL. 

That’s it in a nutshell… can write more… but you’ll probly fall asleep! hehehehe.. the kids were really sweet.. climbing all over.. very affectionate.. but quite sad also coz can see the rejection and kind of ’slave mentality’ they have. Dad you said India was oppressed, i think it was more clear to me in mozambique. there’s an american nurse there who wants to stay on permanently coz her kids are all grown up. and she’s organising new latrines and making improvements.. really cool stuff. and she said sometimes when missionaries come for short term, the kids build attachments and then feel rejected when they leave. so dad and mom, if you;re thinking of a retirement plan… mozambique needs more people! :) but its VERY HOT and i’m not sure if you’d like that! even the whites are tanned!

and ate lots of mangoes!! :)

WOw..

November 28th, 2007 by ifiwereapainter

Update on Mozambique.

This is the first time in which I’m supposedly the ‘Team Leader’ for something, but I’m not stressing, or rushing around doing much. In fact, whenever I tried to get something done, it doesn’t work out… and then I sit back, and things just fall into place.

It’s like WOW. It’s a surreal reality, knowing that God is REALLY in control and directing every aspect of the journey. And we’re just part of the big picure… trusting…

Few weeks back, we were debating whether to do the visas in UK or to just get them on the border. I didn’t want to worry about it. My friend asked "Are you being lazy?" But I wasn’t lazy…yet I felt that we should just hold on. And last week we decided, yes let’s do them here in England. And it happened that one team member was going to London on Wed, and another team member was going to London on Fri the same week. Perfect timing. We did the visas on Wed and picked them up on Fri. No sweat. No purposely stressing to  find time amidst our crazy schedules to go to London to do the visas.

And last week, we haven’t gotten our flights into Mozambique yet. We’ve gotten the flights into Johannesburg, but still haven’t managed to find suitable flights for Pemba coz it’s not a very popular destination. I was getting a bit ueasy to be honest… and started looking up ways to get there. Taking the night coach from Johannesburg to Maputo, and flying to Pemba from there. It was feasible, but just didn’t seem ‘right’. Team wasn’t very united about it. Then this week, the father of a friend gave us a travel agent’s contact in Johannesburg and we managed to book flights straight to Pemba, at a good price. Nothing to do with me at all. It’s soooooooo cool how things just work out.

And one friend sent an email with our ‘Wish List’ for donations to bring to Mozambique to the entire research department in the medical school and major hospitals in Leicester. It was amazing how people responded. Colouring books, portuguese dictionary, notebooks, pens, 18 BOXES OF GLOVES…everything’s just coming in. And we’re just doing basic simple stuff, like sending emails.

Another team member who’s a doctor booked the flights and visa without even confirming his leave to go. He just did it with faith, and we believed with him that God will work something out. His timetable came out 2 days ago, and it wasn’t very good, but he managed to swap his holidays around and got all the time off that he needed. Isn’t my God just awesome?! And it’s Christmas period too, where ppl like to go on holiday.

It’s the power of prayer and faith in an AWESOME, POWERFUL God. We haven’t done much in terms of planning and strategising on how to get donations, and when to get stuff sorted. We’ve just met once a week to pray. And that’s the best thing and the most important thing in the end.

This saturday, we’ll be doing carol singing in the city centre to raise money for Mozambique. We havent done much practice… prayed LOADS this time round coz I really don’t know how it’s gonna be! But I KNOW that my God is faithful and we will have a jolly time singing in the sunshine and have lots of people appreciating it and giving us money.

What a privilige to serve the Great King of the Universe.

Selah

November 28th, 2007 by ifiwereapainter

For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand,
      Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’

Isaiah 41:13, New King James Version.

A letter to my baby sister

November 24th, 2007 by ifiwereapainter

i’m so busy i wanna pull out my hair.
i’m organising carol singing, trying to get donations for mozambique, trying to do some screening presentation, compiling information for a presentation of project i just did with some friends, trying to keep on top of my work for the current block, and trying to cover the work i didn’t do in the first few blocks.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i’m not stressed per se…. just need some cheering up. need to be reminded that the world is still beautiful… still merry and gay.
tell me something funny.
make me laugh and smile baby.
i love your blog. it makes me smile.
loves yous babes.

That in a nutshell is the state of my life. I wonder if I’m just being unorganised or maybe there’s just a lot to do.

I’m not complaining… Here’s something that keeps me going:

But because God was so gracious, so very generous, here I am. And I’m not about to let his grace go to waste. Haven’t I worked hard trying to do more than any of the others? Even then, my work didn’t amount to all that much. It was God giving me the work to do, God giving me the energy to do it.

1 Corinthians 15:10

Tell me jokes! Tell me good news! Tell me funny stories! I need to smell some roses….

My Brother’s getting married!!

October 28th, 2007 by ifiwereapainter

Another one bites the dust…

On the alter of sacrifice…

A stag is caught.

Heheheheheheh… no no no… am not against mariage!! Am really overjoyed that he’s getting married to his really long term girlfriend.

Only thing not happy about is that they’ve been engaged for weeks and registering tomorrow and I just found out yesterday. Nobody bothers telling me anything no more! For all I know, my younger sister is married too! (no she’s not)

So 2 brothers married, big sis with Aussie rugby player hunk, what’s the Gail left with?

I’m still an accomplished bachelorette. Why am I still single? I don’t know. Am I not brave enough? Not true… I think I’m a brave (enough) person. Are there no good guys around? Not true… I know some cool males. Am I just unattractive?

sigh.

I don’t think so. God says I’m beautiful!! And that’s good enoughfor me!!

Well I’m happy:) I think either way I’m happy…. so it’s not even an issue… it happens when it happens… nuff said.

Culture

October 26th, 2007 by ifiwereapainter

is a rubbish concept.

A year ago, I’d be horrified to say that. In our Malaysian schooling system, we’ve been brought up to think that we must "memelihara budaya dan gaya hidup timur", and "Biar lupa nama, jangan lupa adat" (something like that.. i lupa already - alas!)

Of course one shouldnt forget where one came from, but that doesnt mean that one should be bound to ones past, and not change, if change is good.

I had such big arguments with Grace..my dear big sister the anthropologist whom i thought studied ‘culture’. But she is against the idea of ‘culture’. Totally. And it took some time for my thick skull to grasp why. SO here’s why.

Why do we need to preserve our usual way of doing things when there’re new discoveries, new way of doing things, or when the old ideas are just downright stewpid and wrong?

Look at the Meiji Revolution in Japan.. it takes a visionary to say, "OK, out with the old way of thinking, we need to get out of this rut and move on". Yeah, move on!

Or to give another extreme example, if female genital mutilation exists in Malaysia, I wonder if people will still preserve it as part of the ‘adat’? (thankfully there arent such barbaric practices in Malaysia - or so I hope!)

I think Malaysia needs to reboot and move on. Why are we living on last century’s economic policies? Worst, we are so hung up about our racial and cultural roots that we can’t see and treat each other as equal human beings! I’m not criticising the government (bless them, my sponsors!), I’m just very upset with this pervasive mindset that we so irrationally hold on to (for old times’ sake), which simply put, is slowly eating us up like brittle rust.

I can never forget what Brian Houston said: "Don’t let your culture or background determine who you are, You determine the culture and atmosphere you live in."

In our medical school, after every teaching session, we have to fill in feedback forms - which can be pretty tedious and annoying. But if you think about it, the concept is good. Constant feedback, constantly evolving methods, always wanting to improve, not relying on old tested and tried. What a positive attitude!

God help us.

Ketchup day..random ideas

October 26th, 2007 by ifiwereapainter

Today is catchup day. Or ketchup day in good ol manglish. I cleaned the kitchen (only to find it dirty again in less than an hour!), did my laundry, cleaned my room, updated my blog… am feeling quite pleased with myself indeed.

I used to think the 36 years old was old… but then, that’s when my mom gave birth to me! It’s not that old! So my plan now is to go back to Malaysia fast fast, work off my 10 year bond, and then get outta there and get more adventures :) My Christian medic friends here have this grand idea of meeting up again after 10 years to open a hospital in Africa…

10 years aint too long innit? The best is always yet to come. 5 years ago, I’d have never thought I’ll go to USA, India, Mozambique..I’m so blessed. What a privilege!

We had this lecture on Wednesday on child psychiatry. Apparently the 3 most common phobias that kids here have are fear of the dark, fear of animals and fear of death. This got me thinking… if you grow up in a kampung, there’s not much lights around…so kids get used to the dark, and lots of animals all over…so no fear of animals, and death is probably more common in a kampung Malaysia than bandar UK because of poorer healthcare…so the concept of death aint such a big deal (of course it still is…am not saying it isnt).

I think i wanna raise my kids in a kampung. Run wild, climb trees, roll in mud, chase chickens… what more can one want?

Oh and I dyed my hair… it’s kinda golden mahogany…really like it. It was DIY, so only cost £3! :) Sometimes i do miss my black hair tho… especially when I feel that my clothes dont match my hair colour. I need to go shopping..

Also, I went to Hillsong conference 2 weekends ago and "adopted" a boy from Columbia! He’s 5… am gonna pledge to give £18 a month for his schooling etc and pray for him. It isn’t much (though for a student’s budget, £18 can be a lot)… but in the grand scheme of things, hopefully it’ll make some difference in his life. And also, hopefully I’ll visit Columbia one day :) I dont remember meeting any Columbians before… but my friends have, and they say Columbian men are hot. Apparently. Yeah baby!:)

Psychiatry

October 26th, 2007 by ifiwereapainter

I just completed my psychiatry placement. Before starting it, I was anticipating the worst.. I just assumed that I will meet a bunch of crazy people who talk nonsense and need to pull themselves together.

I was so wrong. I really loved the block. It was really interesting talking to the patients. I haven’t met anyone who SINCERELY think they were heraring voices and are so affected by these voices. ANd those voices are often mean and cruel… swearing at them, asking them to kill themselves, talking about them. It’s really awful. And very strange.

And then there were people who were so manic they take of all their clothes and prance around in the streets, who forget their identities momentarily and just space out… not eating, drinking, going to the toilet.

I can’t imagine how people can get so ill in their minds. And it’s really sad that though they have healthy bodies, an ill mind just wreck havoc to their whole lives. All areas. Nothing spared.

I had the opportunity to speak to some of them privately. They told me they felt that God was far away..and life is empty.. and there’s no hope.

But I believe that Jesus loves them and there’s always hope. And i wish, i really wish i could help them find Jesus. Because I truly believe that’s the only way out.

One of them kept telling the consultant that he was fine, that he wanted to go home. But the consultant just told him "You are ill, I want you to take this medication."

Whereupon the boy replied "I don’t want to take that medication, it makes me drowsy. What’s wrong with me? I’m fine! I want to go home!"

There was a shouting match. It was really really sad. Coz I spoke to the boy the day before that. He felt really misunderstood… i felt that he seemed ‘normal’…or at least he was when he spoke to me.

He said I’d make a good psychiatrist. But he said psychiatrists dont understand him.. and I might get ‘warped’ into the system.

Mind games. Manipulation. Control. Helplessness. Hopelessness.

I do believe medication has its place in treatment, but there is a spiritual side that needs treating too. The soul. And how do you medicalise that?

Perhaps one day… I shall do something. One can only hope.

Mozambique

October 26th, 2007 by ifiwereapainter

So here’s the story..

Earlier this year, around March, my dad told me about Iris Ministries in Mozambique. It was founded by ths lady and her husband.. Heidi and Roland. They were readng the papers about the terrible civil war in Mozambique in the late 80s and how the country’s in tatters with many displaced people and orphans. So Heidi says to her husband, "Let’s go and help them" and so they went.

It’s amazing…they managed to plant many orphanages and help lots of kids. And they weren’t like billionaires or anything… but they knew that they serve the God who owns all the riches of the earth. And there were so many miracles, people getting healed, raised from the dead, freed from violence… incredible.

I really wanted to go. I knew God wanted me to go. I could just SEE a Mozambique visa on my passport. I wanted to go in summer.

But nothing happened. I didnt have the money.. I didnt have the inspiration to write anything in my application form. It just wasnt right. It made me wonder.. was I just imagining all this? But i thought, "Ah well, I’ll go in December somehow" and just left it at that.

Then a friend who just graduated from Leicester as a doctor told me he went to Mozambique in the summer. ANd in the final 2 days of his trip, he chanced upon the Iris Ministry building and somehow got in. And he told them he was a medic. And they said that on that very morning they had a vision from God that some medics are gonna visit them this year to help them. And so they invited us to go visit them.

I can’t even begin to describe how amazed I am at how things just came together. It’s just God. Jesus. No effort on my part whatsoever. And the money situation, JPA recently announced that they were gonna increase our allowance starting september. So i get 200+ pounds more a month. Quite unexpected… what a blessing!

And so, this december, me and 4 other friends are going to Mozambique for 2 weeks. We want to know God more, we want to be inspired by how real God is. We want to be inspired. And hopefully we could help the people there too!

I am very excited :) Also glad to escape the cold winter and get some sunshine and warmth! Praise the Lord :)